Hello,
It’s been a while… A
year to be exact… “Rwanda, again?” You ask.
Well, as most things go, I guess it’s best to start at the beginning.
Since my first journey to Rwanda in 2011, I returned home
perplexed with how to better apply myself to my craft, my daily pursuits, and
overall my life’s journey. It seems that
my 150 children in Rwanda not only instilled a passionate drive to return to
them again, but also an inner lying confusion in how to make the menial tasks
meaningful.
I quickly moved to New York City and signed a contract with
a Dance Competition called StarQuest International. I had a blast and met some amazing people as
I ventured to a new U.S. city every weekend watching dances on the stage as an
auditor/judges manager. At the end of
the touring season I was offered a full-time position as their Bookings
Director, which consisted of managing the contracts and scheduling of each
venue we visit.
Confident that I had found my “niche”, I planned a return
trip to my kids in Rwanda.
The second year in Africa was vastly different from the
first, but that was to be expected as a lot had happened in 11 months. Kigali felt more like home than an adventure
and I liked that. Among many things, the
ethereal sensation of breathing in the African air a second time was something
so gratifying. Words fail me to express
the sensation.
Seeing the kids’ faces light up with the knowledge that I
had returned to them was so inspiring.
It was in these moments with the children that I realized that my
comfortable job in NYC was not my end goal.
It wasn’t the job itself that was wrong, but the fact that I wasn’t
contributing to anything greater than the company. I had grown content in security.
Since my sojourn in 2012, a lot has happened in my life in
what may seem a most uneventful and uninspiring way.
Searching for purpose I chose a route that many confused
young people do, pursuing a master’s degree.
I knew that I wanted to dance, create, and educate. So obtaining more institutional knowledge
seemed like a good idea.
After many university auditions and interviews, I felt
confident that I had made several good impressions with various faculty,
students, and staff. I learned a lot as
I traveled and investigated each program.
This process even served as a catalyst for an emotional analysis of
abstract movement I’m working on and calling CAMotion. Of course I had my top choices, but many were
good choices.
Four months later I held six letters in my hands, and all
were rejections. I’d be lying if I said
I wasn’t slightly devastated. I’d put
myself out there as an artist, an eager potential student, and the answers were
no.
Shortly after, I had a meeting with my NYC boss who informed
me that my Bookings Director position was being transferred to the North
Carolina headquarters to be managed by the owner.
At the end of May I found myself applying for unemployment,
no immediate plans, and a little lost.
Africa was definitely not in the picture.
June was by far the best month I’ve had in a long time. I threw myself back into dancing by
participating in the Simonson Teacher Training program. This “safe-movement practice, beginner jazz”
teaching course was amazing. To fully
describe my experience I’ll have to dedicate an entire blog to it, but for now
just know that it was exactly what I needed.
The course ended and I knew that teaching dance and creating is what I’m
meant to do.
So then Africa… I had
kids wanting to know if I was coming back…
Let’s be honest, explaining that you are in no financial state to do so
it quite difficult when someone is depending on you to be their constant. The overwhelming sense of guilt was eating
away at me.
After lots of talking with my parents, frequent flyer miles,
and the help of a lovely friend; I booked another trip to Africa. I’m even so blessed that to cut the trips’
cost, I’ll be spending a week in Barcelona with friends.
My goal in Africa this year to tell my kids that coming back
every year is not a reality for me. I
want them to understand that I will do everything I can to come see them, but
it cannot be promised to be consistent.
I felt like when I left Africa last year I had written a run on sentence. This year I intend on putting a period at the
end of it.
Do not confuse this with never returning, but for now, I
need to focus on getting myself straightened out and secure before I can make
honest promises to others.
I’m not going to lie, there’s a lot of stress and unknown
right now in my life. Job applications
are going out everyday and I am maintaining faith that something will pan
out. I’m going to do my best to fully
embrace this trip for what it’s worth and hopefully at the end of it I’ll have
gained a nugget of knowledge I didn’t know I needed to find.
Next time I write I will hopefully be in Spain surrounded by
the support of my lovely Catalan family.
Until next time,
Chelsea
Chelsea
